Desires is such a complicated word for some women. Thoughts of sex, food, and material things immediately come to mind when they hear the word. For many, the word “desire” creates a feeling in the body that many consider to be negative.
Maybe you’re thinking that focusing on your needs is most important. Maybe you’re focused on the needs of OTHERS that you think there’s no room for what you want. Maybe your life is pretty great that you can’t even imagine how to ask for more.
And yet sometimes, you’ll feel jealous when you see a couple deep in conversation at a restaurant that you wonder why you and your partner can’t seem to have a meal without your phones in your hands. You don’t say anything because you don’t want to rock the boat, therefore ignoring your desires.
Or sometimes you have a craving for something random and you feel guilty because you’re either on a diet or there’s plenty of food to eat at home. You ignore the craving and you force yourself to eat something else, therefore ignoring your desires.
Maybe you made plans with friends and when it was time to go out, you realized that you would much rather stay home with a glass of wine and “You’ve Got Mail” on the screen. Yet you get dressed because you don’t want to disappoint your friends, therefore ignoring your desires.
I bet some of this sounds familiar!
Women have been conditioned to want LESS out of life. To be grateful for what you have and to stay humble. Maybe you learned this from your mother or grandmother. Maybe it was taught through your religious beliefs.
The problem with ignoring your desires is that your body & mind start to wonder “What’s the point? Why are we doing so much if we’re not getting what we want?” Yet MANY WOMEN THINK THAT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT. When asked, their immediate response is “I don’t know.”
It’s not because you don’t know. YOU DO KNOW! You’re simply asking the wrong questions!
When you ask negative questions like, “Why don’t I know what I want? Why can’t I ever do what I want? Why do I focus so much on others?” your brain assumes that you are incapable of knowing, doing, or focusing on yourself, and it will give you plenty of reasons why you CAN’T.
QUESTIONS THAT PROMOTE CLARITY
Grab a journal, a pen, and lively essential oils like Lemon, Wild Orange or Peppermint. (BONUS for my readers: Morning Diffuser Blend for Journaling, below). Ask yourself one or all of the clarifying questions below and record all the answers that you come up with.
- What is my heart craving?
- What feels like love in this moment?
- If I had a magic wand, what would my life look like?
- If I had a magic wand, what would my health look like?
- What is one thing I can do today that will be increase the amount of joy I share with others?
- What are the things that I see that make me feel a little jealous on the inside?
Asking yourself these questions will get your heart and mind sing! These positive questions make the brain assume that you have the ability to be, do, or have whatever you’re seeking, and it will produce reasons why you CAN.
QUESTIONS THAT PROMOTE ACTION
Once you discover the things that are important to you, it’s time to start taking action. A lot of women get stuck when it takes action because they think they lack the motivation to get into motion.
What if I told you that action driven from your emotions, which are a product of your thoughts? Would you believe me if I said that you could THINK YOUR WAY TO ACTION? I hope you do because it works!
Here’s what you want to ask yourself to create the emotions of excitement, optimism, and possibility:
- If I focused on my desires for at least 10 minutes a day, what would I do?
- If I did this consistently, what would I inspire in my family (partner, others)?
- What kind of example would I set for my loved ones if they saw me focusing on ME once a day?
- How much more joy would I feel if I focused on what I want to do at least once a day?
Notice the power of these questions? They’re also meant to move your forward. This is the power of transformational coaching and the belief that all women can be, do, or have whatever they want, as well as what they need.
Whoever said that achieving this is complicated, obviously doesn’t understand the power of the human mind! It’s all about what you instruct your mind to do with what you imply in your statements and questions. Your brain is always listening and it doesn’t have the ability to judge your words; it doesn’t know if what you’re thinking, saying or asking is “good” or if it’s “bad” – it just does what you tell it do with your words.
READY TO LET GO OF WHAT DOESN’T WORK?
This is a very valid question, and one that I’ve started asking repeatedly before agreeing to work with women on facilitating health and life transformations because not all women are ready to give up the mind trash that keeps them stuck. (It’s a comfort thing, don’t judge.)
If you’re ready to come face to face with your fears, and if you’re ready to do the work it takes to create change in your life, The Woman’s Coaching Club is the place for you. Here’s where I’ll teach you to evolve from frustrated to fierce using tools that will help you coach yourself through any situation life throws your way.
We dive deeper into the power of your thoughts. You learn to ask yourself empowered questions. You acknowledge your desires and learn how to achieve them…
If this sounds exciting, become a Fierce Member today!